夜凉如水。

 

 

 

光一年走的距离，叫做一光年。

距离太阳最近的一刻恒星，距离地球有4.2光年。

所以你看，我们看到的那些光芒

已经是它很久之前的记忆了。

 

 

海底的珊瑚虫死亡后，成千上万的尸体堆叠。

历经海水冲刷，海风侵蚀。最终风化成为坚固的石灰岩

是这样顽固的记忆。日日夜夜。

企图对抗时间的虚无

 

 

 

是。

 

我忽然感受到时间的迅疾与苍老。

 

我们的执着不足以对抗它的虚无。信念不能忍耐它的漫长。

 

像行走在凌驾万里高空之中的钢索上。

 

生死一线。寒风凛冽。

 

再次清醒看到时光的界限。

 

 

 

 

 

站在高处俯瞰。无疾而终大概也是一出缱绻演出。

 

 

 

 

想起来某日进过的一个教堂。

墙面上印刷着的一句话。上帝在天上，你在地下，所以你的言语要寡少。

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

大概四月七日起天气开始回暖。早晨和傍晚的风是凉的，可以穿单衣。小院里的绿意是在寒冷退却的一霎那全都涌了出来。

于是即使非常疲惫，看到它们，常常的兀自欢喜。

 

珍藏同摒弃的终究目的地似乎雷同。不过分为忘记的轻重缓急和心甘情愿。都是时间里面一记微型的标本。不值得庆祝。

 

  坚持的戒掉某个习惯后却常常的梦到自己再次的重蹈覆辙。因为曾在此立过某项誓言，所以梦里的自己是遗憾追悔与不能自已的矛盾。但是最终都会

很心虚的原谅自己。梦醒来后，才会真正觉得宽慰。

克制的事情，放纵的事情。我即使能够分的很清楚，也常常容许它们的混淆。纵容身体头脑如同一个不听话的孩子，知道我会千方百计的宽容她。

 

  我再次看到身体里那个小小的女童。倔强乖戾，任性脆弱。她哭泣的时候有一种无能为力的勇敢。她把自己的放弃当做是旁人对己的放弃。她委屈的

时候偏偏执拗的沉默，恶意将误会拉至最底。无以为继。

 

 

《乱红》是非常好听的洞箫音乐专辑。演奏者陈悦是面向古典沉静的女子。对萧，陨，笛这些中国古典乐器有唯美的诠释。

 

 

 

To Boddah pronounced

　　　　Speaking from the tongue of an experienced simpleton who obviously would rather be an emasculated, infantile camplainee.

　　　　 his note should be pretty easy to understand. All the warnings from the punk rock 101 courses over the years. Since my first introduction to the, shall we say, ethics involved with independence and the embracement of your community has proven to be very true. I haven't felt the exitement of listening to as well as creating music along with reading and writing for too many years now. I feel guilty beyond words about these things. For example when we're backstage and the lights go out and the manic roar of the crowd begins it doesn't affect the way in which it did for Freddy Mercury who seemed to love and relish in the love and adoration from the crowd. Which is something I totally admire and envy. The fact is I can't fool you. Any one of you. It simply isn't fair to you or me. The worst crime I can think of would be to rip people off by faking it and pretending as if I'm having 100 % fun. Sometimes I feel as if I should have a punch in time clock before I walk out on stage. I've tried everything within my power to appreciate it, and I do. God, believe me I do but it's not enough.

　　　　I appreciate the fact that I and we have affected and entertained a lot of people. I must be one of one of those narcissists who only appreciate things when they're gone. I'm too sensitive. I need to be slightly numb in order to regain the enthusiasm I once had as a child. On our last three tours I've had a much better appreciation for all the people I've known personally and as fans of our music, but I still can't get over the frustration, the guilt and empathy I have for everyone. There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much. So much that it makes me feel too fucking sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative, pisces Jesus man! Why don't you just enjoy it? I don't know. I have a goddess of a wife who sweats ambition and empathy and a daughter who reminds me too much of what I used to be.

　　　　Full of love and joy kissing every person she meets because everyone is good and will do her no harm. And that terrifies me to the point to where I can barely function. I can't stand the thought of Frances becoming the miserable self-destructive, death rocker that I've become. I have it good, very good, and I'm grateful, but since the age of seven I've become hateful towards all humans in general. Only because it seems so easy for people to get along, and have empathy. Empathy! Only because I love and feel for people too much I guess. Thank you all from the pit of my burning nauseous stomach for your letters and concern during the past years. I'm too much of an erratic, moody baby! I don't have the passion anymore and so remember, its better to burn out than to fade away. peace, love, empathy.

　　　　Kurt Cobain

 

柔会自言自语说要我去陪她．给她打电话，她对着电话说，姐姐出来出来

 

柔尿裤子时小一常会说讨厌．今天又尿，小一凶巴巴说又尿裤子！柔说，讨厌～

 

一起吃青枣，柔用嘴巴喂我吃

 

柔跟电视学会＂酷＂这个字眼。看到我说，姐姐衣服好漂亮姐姐表好酷！

 

柔喜欢看西游记，看到孙悟空时兴奋的把饭喷出来，自己乐呵呵说，柔柔好激动呀～

 

柔第一次见我穿制服的样子时彻底傻掉，不说话不笑，最后把零食全塞给我……

 

小一问柔煎饼好吃吗．柔手托香腮沉默．又问好吃吗。依旧沉默．再问．柔方开口，可以

 

柔随地大小便，小一怒，不听话打屁股！柔跑到沙发边趴在沙发上撅起ＰＰ……

 

柔晚上闹人不睡觉，小一佯装生气。柔不语，对视。终于小一忍不住笑出来，柔遂笑

 

喂她吃米粥，不吃只顾玩。我说那给猫咪吃喽。柔急忙跑过来大口吃掉说不给猫咪吃呀。再喂，不吃，同样方法喂海豚，绵羊，金鱼……屡试不爽　　一碗吃完，还念念不忘的说，不给房子吃，不给袜子吃，不给桌子吃…只给柔柔吃……　　　　小孩子……

 

柔经过电视前恰好某节目主持人说，观众朋友们再见。柔看也不看挥手说，再见！

 

柔亲我的时候常会亲的一脸口水

 

 

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　柔有洁白如莲花的脸。快要两岁。如我生命里的闪烁光束